Having retired from zapping protozoa with electrical stimuli, I spend most of my time drinking chai tea at cafés and running around in parks. I studied philosophy in college and applied for graduation upon discovering that I don’t exist.

My other past times include fixing up my old house and reading old books. I write meandering essays, half-inadvertently make people laugh, and take notice of the small things.

If I were a car, I’d probably be a yellow Volvo from the 1980s. Ideally, it would be in running condition.